Tuesday, October 7, 2014


Ladies & Gentlemen, this is a warning to all those that are contemplating marriage. My situation is not unique, and it happens more times than you can imagine. In 1983 I met a woman in an up-state New York college and we dated for a short time. She went off and got married as did I, we both got divorces, mine in 1992 and hers about the same time, she had two children from this union and I had no children. In 1995 I got out of the NAVY (I went to flight school in the Navy and I am a pilot) to work as an airline pilot and found it wasn’t what I expected so I traded in my military security clearance for a job in DoD intelligence. In that time I bought a small house (Deed to the house is in my name only) for myself and was paying a small mortgage with no other debt I was living a good life content with a good job that I enjoyed, but i was alone. 

When September 11, 2001 happened the women I mentioned above, we’ll call her “Linda”, called me knowing I worked for the military and possibly in the Pentagon, to see if I was all right. I wasn’t working there but in Norfolk VA but was glad to hear from her and her concern for an old friend. After some conversation I invited her down from NY to spend a weekend and we did this for about eight months, one thing lead to another and we were married in December of 2002. At first things were fine we settled in and with her fourteen year old daughter in tow we started our lives together. In 2003 I tried to get back in the military as the entire 9/11 thing was personal to me and I wanted to do something to help. In the late seventies I joined the Army as an infantryman and served with the second RANGER Battalion at Ft. Lewis Washington. The natural choice for me was to try to get back into the military in some capacity to serve again in support of the War on Terror. After trying the Army, Navy and Air Force there were no takers, I was simply too old at 46. So I went anyway as a private contractor working for “Blackwater” and deployed to the Sub-continent in 2003.

In my absents I needed my wife to handle the daily business of the house and bills, so a limited power of attorney was in order, can you see where this is going? I’ll save you all the details but the long and the short of it is she was handling all the bills and monthly household expenses and my large pay checks, which were more than sufficient to do so. I gave here instructions as to where the money will go and put the whole thing on autopilot. After my return she became pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful girl in 2004 who is the center of my world. We had a good life until about three years into the marriage. After I returned from deployment I woke up one morning and found out that about $80,000 in savings/retirement funds and my equity in my house were gone and I was in debt in the amount of over $200,000 and it all went to Linda’s son, daughter and a failed business attempt by her without my knowledge or consent. As I cleared up the credit cards and took them away she retrieved them and ran up the debt again, this happened a total of three times. As you may imagine, this caused problems with my security clearance and the looming debt caused my house and mortgage to be in jeopardy as there were missing mortgage payments and I was close to foreclosure and added to that was the mounting credit card debt growing every month with interest I could not keep up with, even paying the minimum payments. At this time, eight years ago, I took over ALL finances, cut Linda off to all funds and that’s when things got real “Sporty” at home. The debt was all hers with the exception of about $3,000 to replace the motor in my Toyota pick-up as it was less expensive to do that than purchase a new truck. Things progressively deteriorated over the years until about six years ago (9/8/2008) I told her “I don’t want you in my life, house or bed” whereupon she moved out of my room and took up residence in a spare bedroom and began sleeping in the same bed as my daughter, where she still sleeps to this day, when I confronted her on this issue I was told to “Mind my own business” and to” f*ck off,” this has been her attitude ever since. . Linda has two college degrees and promised before she moved here from NY to get a teachers certificate and teach in the local school system, to date she still works at a local super market for $11.50 an hour stocking shelves and refuses to consider a better job teaching and will not discuss the teaching job with me. Moreover she will not in any substantial way help with the bills and debt she incurred.

I worked for over six years with lawyers, debt consolidation companies and people in finance to stop the hemorrhaging of money, I finally got it under control and it took that long to do it. For that period of time I was coming home every day and getting on the computer and phone to tax resolution agencies (Most of which are not any help) and others to put my finances back together, it’s has been a long road. Today I look over my shoulder at a bankruptcy in May of 2013, my house is safe from foreclosure, but the mortgage is over $600 a month higher than what it was when I got married my house is underwater. Also $720 a month goes out to unpaid taxes every month due to her negligence with respect to the 2003 taxes (When I was employed by Blackwater I was paid under 1099 rules and she spent the money before I could pay the taxes on it) Today I pay all bills in support of the home and my daughter; I have no problem with that as I love her and I’m a very attentive and good father. Linda still lives under my roof all expenses paid by me and causes no small amount of discomfort and refuses to help support here debt or house upkeep. I need a new roof, windows and carpets and she lives in a filthy room like a “hoarder” at the end of the hall while I cook clean and care for our daughter. She spent ALL my assets and she knows I haven’t the funds to pay a lawyer to divorce her, so she stays. She has told me that she will not leave without taking my daughter and that would break my heart. She is not the woman I married eleven years ago as she has been taking three separate and very strong anti-depressants for a number of years now and the medication has permanently changed her personality and brain chemistry (These are the same class of drugs that are given to combat veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan with PTSD) causing her judgment to be suspect, just look at what she has done to the finances. Moreover she is addicted to strong prescription pain killers. The combination of these drugs has turned her into a mean and vindictive Woman.

About eight years ago Linda offered to take my daughter and move back in with her mother in upstate New York, she told me I could wash my hands of the entire situation if I would let her go. That was not an option. I grew up without a father and I am the second of five children. Having a front row seat to the lives of my siblings with all of their problems, two alcoholics that can’t hold a job and a pile of emotional and personal problems with all four, I will not do that to my daughter, she deserves a good father in her life. Linda will not leave without my daughter, the most precious thing in my life and I will NOT turn over my daughter to this woman as she is a train wreck. I will endure any burden so my daughter has the guidance of a good dad in her life. But today things are getting out of hand and it is affecting my daughter in a negative way, she lives in a toxic environment and I don’t have the funds to hire a lawyer and Linda’s choice is not the overall welfare of her child. Linda can move in with her older daughter and her husband locally or with her mother in NY but staying in my home is no longer an option. I have spoken to numerous people, some lawyers, all involved in the legal system that all say I can win custody but without the funds I’m dead in the water. So now we get to the meat of the issue, I’m looking for donations for my legal fund. I know if you are reading this chances are you don’t know me from “Adam” but I can give you any information you may request to validate the above narrative

My goals are to achieve the desired outcomes;
  1. Primary custody of my child
  2. Removal of Linda from the premises
  3. Stability of a life for my daughter
  4. Put my finances back in order and on an upward trend.

Lessons learned from this experience;
1. Don’t trust anyone with your financial future.
2. Don’t trust anyone taking strong psychotropic drugs
3. Don’t trust anyone taking prescription drugs, as the combination of psychotropic drugs and prescription pain killers is very problematic
4. Judgment is severely impaired under the influence of these drugs, just because one has a prescription does not mean they are safe, THEY ARE NOT SAFE!
5. Don’t get married without thoroughly and completely vetting your future spouse and get a Pre-Nup agreement even if you have nothing to protect.

I am a good and honorable man caught in a difficult position trying to balance the needs of my child and with the financial problems imposed on me by a woman of less than honorable intent. Moreover I’m at the end of my rope when it comes to a solution matrix to this problem. I’m out of funds and there are still issues that need addressing. If you can’t or won’t contribute, thank you for reading this and pass it along to those that may be in a position to help. Please, take the lessons I’ve learned and apply them to your lives.

Everything I described above can be verified by me and my command, if there are any questions about the veracity of these events please feel free to investigate with the contact information provided.
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